Intentionality - Shifting Perceptions


I've spent so much of my life comparing. Comparing myself to those around me. Comparing my life to theirs. Comparing looks, resources, talents, gifts, jobs... 

The list goes on. 

Always resulting in a feeling of lack. Lack of faith. Lack of hope. Lack of joy. Lack of beauty. Lack of success. 

The list goes on.

This is the abyss where we reside when we constantly compare ourselves to others. Mark Twain's wisdom reminds us, "Comparison is the death of joy." I've been a living testament to that statement for longer than I'd like to admit.

But what if...

What if we understood we're more alike than we realize?

What if that person I'm putting on a pedestal isn't so different after all?

What if we took the time to stop with the pretenses and assumptions, and simply listen to that person? Maybe even ask a few questions...

Last week I emceed at a women's event for the first time in a crowd of over 100 women. This normally would have been a very daunting task for me to even consider, let alone do without extreme levels of fear and nausea. 

This time was different. Yes, it was the biggest crowd I've ever held a mic in front of, but I wasn't shaky, nervous, or sick. 

As I stood there, looking out at over 100 women, some of whom I had put on those imaginary pedestals, I realized I wasn't in front of a room full of women who were intimidating because they were "more of this," or "more of that." I was standing in front of a room of women with the commonality that we all still have that little girl inside of us. 

The little girl with dreams, hopes, and aspirations, yet filled with fears, doubts, and worries. A room full of women yearning for connection and commonality after a year and a half of living in the dry season of a pandemic, when we've been sequestered in our homes, socially distancing and unable to hug each other.

My friends, the next time you look at someone else and start to think, "I wish I was more like her," stop yourself in your tracks and express gratitude for who you are. Your path is yours and yours alone. Your experiences, personality, and gifts combine to make a journey that is uniquely yours. When we shift our focus from a perspective of comparison and lack to one of gratitude and purpose, we begin to grow. To grow into the person we yearn to be. To grow into the person we're created to be.

Then befriend some of those people. Learn about their journey, and you'll find they often faced many of the struggles and concerns you have. And, more often than not, you'll find they're willing to share their wisdom and how they overcame those obstacles. They may even become one of your greatest encouragers, and friends, along the way.

Who are you created to be? What are the dreams and aspirations the little girl inside of you is yearning for? What are the experiences and gifts you have that you can explore further into how they combine to create something beautiful? 

The journey is meant to be traveled in community. If you ever need tools and guidance, please reach out. I'm happy to help shine a light so you can see the path more clearly.

Please share in the comments below. Putting it down in writing is the first step in shifting your journey. You can do this!

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