Posts

Mom - A Life Well Loved

Image
Floaties on my arms, to keep me safe in the creek.

Layers of clothing, to keep me warm against the winter chill of awaiting the big yellow bus.
The memory of her rubbing my legs at night when the painful growth spurts hit.
A scoop of ice cream in my morning bowl of cereal, an extra special treat.
The look on her face when my balloon slipped away, as if she was determined to retrieve it so my heart wouldn’t break.
The open arms I took for granted so many times, always there and always open.
The wisdom, love and kindness she exhibited to everyone. She never knew a stranger, especially in the grocery store!
How I wish I could go back, knowing motherhood myself now, and see her memories from her perspective as a mom. To hear her thoughts, her wishes for our future. To know the pain, hope and fear she experienced as she watched us flail through our childhood and adolescence. To have her perspective after I transitioned to adulthood with my own teenagers and hear her say, "It will be o…

Long Days, Short Years

Image
Today my son turns 19.
When I wrote about time management in Where Did My Day Go, little did I know I’d be sitting down to write this post on his big day. I mean, 19, what the heck? Where Did My Day Go has turned into where did the last 19 years of our lives go?
Give me a sec while I soak up the tears that threaten to flow...
If I ruminate long enough, I’ll remember “the days are long but the years are short.” -Gretchen Rubin
I’ll lovingly recall some of the work I’ve put into the last 19 years of being a mom.
I wish my memory served me better.
But then again, maybe it’s a blessing that I can’t recall every single meltdown, or every dirty diaper. Maybe it’s a blessing that I recall those years with a certain fondness. Perhaps it’s in our design, so we don’t recount every...single...thing to our children and scare the idea of our future grandchildren right out of them!
Good Lord, did I actually just utter that word?
I recall how I was often told as a young parent not to blink. Now I’m in …

Soul Care - Walking Wounded

Image
We are all walking wounded. Both the words we use and the words we absorb can build bridges that empower us to reach unimaginable heights, or they can wound us to the deepest fathoms of our soul. That old sticks and stones saying? That’s a bunch of hooey in my book! Words can hurt.


And if we’re not careful, woundedness can perpetuate. Too often have I been in a reactive mood to something that happened in my day, and passed that negativity on to my family, or anyone who happened to be nearby.  Maybe someone was curt with me, or I felt misunderstood, or treated unjustly. I can imagine the times I turned around and was curt with my husband, short tempered with the kids, or was passive-aggressively slinging dishes into the dishwasher like a Greek wedding was about to take place. Maybe I was scowling when I walked by someone, brooding to myself, but made eye contact and had a negative effect on their day. We tend to lash out where we feel the safest, and often our families are the ones that …

Where Did My Day Go?

Image
Between what is referred to as fibrofog, on top of mommy brain, and the very real possibility that I have undiagnosed ADHD, at the end of most days I’m left pondering the question, “Where did my day go?”
I don’t have the hyperactivity of ADHD, but I just learned that ADD is an outdated term, so I had to use ADHD. Perhaps if I had the hyperactivity I could get more done? 
Sorry, that was a rabbit trail!
It’s not that I don’t have a grasp on the passage of time, it’s a lack of focus and attention that thwart me. At the end of the day I review my to-do list, only to realize another day has passed of exhausting busywork, and hopefully the essentials (you know, eating, that kind of thing). Little things get done that aren’t very significant, but the things I need to get done to make life a little better suffer for it.
This lack of focus and concentration really scared me after losing my mom in her early 60’s to a form of dementia. Fear only compounded the problem and I resorted to worrisome th…

Warning - Sharp Curves Ahead (Responding to Life's Struggles)

Image
The curves ahead warning sign is a common sight when you live in the mountains. Often a suggested lowered speed limit is posted as well. If we heed this warning, we go through the curves at a slower pace, maybe get shifted around slightly, but nothing major happens - you get through it. However, God help the driver who does not heed the warning, for that person could be speeding into a world of hurt.

Life can send us into some sharp curves, where we find we have a choice:

     Do I respond to the warning signs by slowing my pace and focusing my attention; or,

     Do I react with a last minute veering, with the hope I won't careen off the road?
My hope is we would slow down and respond to the warning. However, in order to even see the warning signs, we must be intentionally present in this journey of life and not distracted by all the noise.
Life has thrown us some curves in the past couple of months. Things that caught me completely off guard required my attention. The enemy wil…